


Ten Years Of Waiting

by digthewriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:30:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 9,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5395841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/pseuds/digthewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It had been ten years since he'd been back at Diagon Alley. He remembered the first time he was there after the war, the first Christmas. The first time he'd kissed Draco.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Diagon Alley and the Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Written originally two years ago for 25 days of Harry and Draco challenge. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the Harry Potter universe. This little piece of fiction is written for fun. No profit is being made.
> 
> Utterly unbetaed. There's prob. going to be lots of mistakes.

It had been ten years since he'd been back at Diagon Alley. He remembered the first time he was there after the war, the first Christmas. The first time he'd kissed Draco.  
  
Harry was out with Hermione, shopping for presents for the Weasleys. The remnants of the war were finally settling and everything was becoming cheery again. Then, Harry had spotted Malfoy. He was still _Malfoy_ until that night.  
  
"Potter," he said looking at Harry and nodding curtly at him and Hermione. "How are you, Granger?"  
  
"Good. How are you, Draco?" Hermione asked and he only shrugged. She'd seen the look Harry had on his face and understood. "I'll be in the shop, loads to do. Good to see you again." She sprinted off before either one of them had a chance to say anything.  
  
"It's nice to see you again," Harry said smiling, trying to melt the cool demeanour Malfoy had on his face.  
  
"Well, I should be off then..."  
  
"Draco," Harry said, gripping Malfoy's arm. Malfoy looked at him surprised, and Harry pointed above them, where mistletoe was hanging. "It's tradition." Harry bit his lower lip nervously.  
  
"You've got to be--"  
  
Before Draco could deny him, Harry leaned in to kiss him. And then since that night, he was Draco to him; no longer _Malfoy_. Much to Harry's relief, Draco kissed him back.  
  
Though he couldn't convince Draco to come to the Burrow for dinner that night, he'd managed to make plans with him for drinks the next night.  
  
They met again, and they snogged again. A lot. Then, just like that, Draco told him he couldn't see Harry anymore. Harry didn't understand.  
  
The next night, and the night after that -- for months after that, Harry searched for Draco everywhere and couldn't find him.  
  
Eventually, he moved on. Moved away. Now he was back, ten years later, standing in the same shop, hoping for some reason, he'd see Draco waiting for him under the mistletoe.


	2. Be Careful What You Wish For

Harry entered A Wizard's Quest, the shop where he'd met and kissed Draco ten years ago. The decorations were exactly the same as he'd remembered. The tree adorned the same red and gold ornaments where he saw his reflection again, and a familiar face appeared behind him.  
  
"Harry, so good to see you!" George Weasley grinned glowingly.  
  
Harry had heard that after the success of the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, George and Angelina had acquired A Wizard's Quest. They'd decided to keep the name the same upon Hermione's request. Harry thought it was sweet that the Weasleys also tried to keep his hope alive for so many years.  
  
Harry was distraught for months after Draco’s disappearance, and even though things had ended badly between Ginny and Harry, the Weasleys were nice to him.  
  
"You only get one life, Harry," George had said, "I would know. It's better to remember the good than to dwell on the bad."  
  
"It's good to see you too," Harry replied hugging George. "The shop's doing well, I see."  
  
"As good as it can get!" George answered. There was something about George that Harry couldn’t place a finger on. It was as though – he was hiding something.  
  
"Is Hermione here?" Harry asked.  
  
"No she hasn’t arrived yet, but—"  
  
"But, what?" Harry raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Malfoy…" George paused and Harry’s heart almost sank into his stomach. "He’s back. He’s here, just the—"  
  
"Potter."  
  
Harry heard his name from behind him, from a voice he’d longed to hear for so many years. Sure, Harry had tried to move past the few nights of snogging. Really, he knew, it was just kissing a boy in his teens for a few hours a night for just short of a week. It wasn’t anything worth writing home about. It wasn’t worth years of waiting and longing. But he heard his name, and it was as though his heart had leapt with joy. Then he turned around.  
  
"Mal—Dra—Mal. Hi," Harry stumbled at his words, at the greeting he was trying to convey. He didn’t know what to say, what to do. Draco. _Malfoy_. He was standing next to a woman; his arms wrapped around her.  
  
"Potter. This is my wife, Astoria."


	3. The Return of Many Things

“Oh, you’re married – that’s brilliant – great – I mean – _congratulations_! You know – if it’s new. If you’ve been married for a while then my felicitations don’t really mean much. Right.”  
  
Harry stumbled through words for a while trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.  
  
First, Draco was married. That bloody hurt. Next, _Draco was married_! To a woman. It shouldn’t have been surprising to Harry—Draco could have been bisexual. It’s not like they actually talked about stuff like that. Then years ago.  
  
Bloody hell. That bloody hurt more than Harry had expected. It probably would have been better if he’d never seen Draco again. Then, at least the idea of what they’d shared would have been preserved forever. Now, Harry only felt like an “experimental phase.”  
  
“We just returned from Australia a few nights ago, and I tried to find you,” Draco said.  
  
Right. Australia. It’s not like Harry didn’t look for Draco over there, either.  
  
“And now you have,” Harry answered. “Well, it’s good to see you. Congratulations again.” Harry nodded at both Draco and his wife and decided to take his leave. He wasn’t in the mood to stick around and wait for Hermione, and he was sure that George would explain things to her. He’d just owl her the next day.  
  
Harry was half out the door when someone pulled on his arm.  
  
“Harry, wait.” It was Draco. Of course, it was Draco. Harry stopped, and turned. Draco had immediately looked up and Harry spotted mistletoe. Harry didn’t think that the night could get more poetically torturous. “It’s tradition,” Draco said.  
  
“Sod off, Malfoy.”


	4. The Comfort Of Friends

There really was no reason to be so upset, but Harry couldn't stop feeling rejected. He didn't understand why. Determined to turn things around for him, Harry Disapparted to the Burrow, looking for Hermione.  
  
"What's the matter?" Hermione asked Harry as he'd showed up on the front door of the Burrow.  
  
Harry didn't answer right away. He was busy looking at the decorations on the windows of the house. The frozen ice on the windows were in the shapes of Christmas trees, and Santa sleighs. It was all so cheery and here he was so gloomy, and for what? For Draco? Someone he hadn't even seen in nearly ten years?  
  
"Nothing, not really," Harry said. "I ran into Draco Malfoy at A Wizard's Quest and sort of panicked. But I realised that was a stupid thing to do, so I just came to see you."  
  
"What happened, Harry?" Hermione asked as she pulled him in a hug. He was glad to have her warmth surround him. He _really_ needed his friend.  
  
"I don't know. I thought I was past this, you know?" Harry answered, sitting on the sofa in the living room, while Hermione offered him some hot chocolate and Christmas cookies.  
  
"Well you never really got your closure and you saw him when you didn't expect to—"  
  
"He's married," Harry said. "That's really what shocked me. I mean, it shouldn't, but it did. I just feel stupid for the way I acted and then he—his nerve!"  
  
"What happened?" Hermione stood up from the sofa across Harry and came and sat next to him. Her arm around his shoulder.  
  
"I took my leave and he followed me, then he gestured to the mistletoe, stating that we should kiss, _it's tradition_ , he said."  
  
"That's so—"  
  
"He wanted to kiss me at the shop, where I'd just met his wife!" Harry nearly screamed. "Sorry, I'm overreacting."  
  
"No, Harry, you're reacting perfectly normal. I have no idea what I would have done if something like this happened to me!"  
  
Harry was glad that despite how chilly and brutal the weather was that time of year, he had the warmth of his best friend to comfort him. It was also good to hear that he, or his reactions weren't ridiculous.

 


	5. Meeting Astoria

Harry left the Burrow in a relatively good mood. Even though he and Hermione hadn't managed to accomplish anything that day (they'd planned on going shopping for presents but that was a total bust after Harry had seen Draco), they planned on meeting up later at the Abbott Christmas Party.  
  
Hannah Abbott had invited all of her friends from her Hogwarts years to her house for three years in a row for a pre-holiday Holiday Party. For the past few years, Harry had gone with Ron and Hermione and they had always had a blast. He was sure this year it was going to be fun too.  
  
Besides, he had had a great time last year snogging Hannah's cousin, Sebastian. Harry wondered if he'd be there again, even if it was just to distract Harry.

  
Harry arrived at the Abbott residence before Hermione and Ron had. He walked into the main hall and saw the usual over-the-top decorations. The main hallway led to a set of stairs that eventually led to the Banquet Hall. The staircase was adorned in festive garlands, and the tree was shining brighter than any star in the sky. It truly was a sight to see. It spoke volumes on the warmth and the comfort of the Abbott home--especially since Hannah had insisted on putting on all the decorations herself, rather than using the help of the House-Elves, which Hermione approved of, of course.  
  
When he walked up the stairs towards the Banquet Hall, Harry spotted the back of, he was sure, Astoria Malfoy. He'd only met the woman for a brief moment, but she was standing next to someone Harry _did_ recognise, her sister Daphne.  
  
He panicked slightly, unsure of whether he should continue on, or simply leave.  
  
It was too late. Astoria had turned to see him. She smiled softly at him and Harry nodded back in return. She left the hall and met Harry half way across the room.  
  
"Mr Potter, good to see you again," she said kindly. She seemed like a nice, and genuinely sweet lady, Harry thought, he would have no reason to hate her.  
  
"You too, Mrs Malfoy," he answered.  
  
"Oh, please call me Astoria," she said. "I won't be Mrs Malfoy for very long."  
  
"What? Why?" Harry asked, shocked by what he'd heard. His palms began to sweat a little as he felt a sort of tension rise up his neck.  
  
"Draco says wonderful things about you," she said, "So I take it I can trust you with our secret. Our marriage has been nothing but a marriage of convenience. Now that we both have what we need, we'll be filing for a divorce soon." She spoke very softly, looking around to make sure that no one could hear what she was saying.  
  
"Oh," Harry said. what else was he expected to say? _Draco says wonderful things about you_ , was still ringing in his ears.  
  
"No one knows, so I trust you'll keep this secret?"  
  
"Yes, of course," Harry said, nodding frantically.  
  
"Excellent, shall we go in then?"  
  
"Sure," Harry said, and she crossed arms with him and walked into the Banquet Hall. From the corner of his eye, Harry spotted Sebastian who immediately smiled at him and started to make his way towards Harry.


	6. Expressionless

Even if Astoria had mistakenly told Harry that her and Draco's marriage was nothing but a sham, Harry had no idea of knowing how Draco felt about him.  
  
He certainly didn't appreciate hearing about it from someone else, and on top of that, he didn't like the fact that Draco had just expressed a desire to kiss him under the mistletoe without an explanation--as though Harry was just waiting around for him.  
  
He wasn't. Not really. Sure he thought of the idea of seeing Draco again, but to be taken for granted like that after nearly a decade? Who did that git think he was?  
  
The moment Harry entered the ballroom with Astoria, he saw Sebastian on his right, and as Astoria bid him a 'see you later, Harry', Harry saw Draco on his left, standing by the fireplace where the Christmas stockings hung nearly perfectly.  
  
Harry didn't get a chance to react to seeing Draco, as Sebastian all but took him into his arms and swooped him up for a kiss. Sebastian was a muscly bloke with the advantage of having a few inches on Harry. He grabbed Harry's neck and all but crashed their mouths together.  
  
Harry didn't fight Sebastian, if anything, he gave into the kiss. Just for a moment, it felt good to feel _wanted_.  
  
"Alright, Quidditch star of the year, you've made your point," Harry teased Sebastian as he finally let Harry go.  
  
"Sorry, I hope the boyfriend doesn't mind," Sebastian said, making an awkward face.  
  
Harry laughed. "If there was one, I'm sure you'd be on the floor already nursing a bloody nose."  
  
"Ah. Ever the charmer, Mr Potter."  
  
"That's bold, coming from someone who just snogged a bloke you haven't seen in a year."  
  
"You're stand under the mistletoe," Sebastian reasoned. "It's tradition."  
  
"So they tell me," Harry answered.  
  
Sebastian pulled on Harry's arm and dragged him to join the party. He was saying hello to Hannah and Neville when Draco and Astoria joined them. Hannah had just finished telling Harry how everyone was staring at him and Sebastian snogging by the door. If Draco was at all affected by the kiss, Harry had no idea; his expression was blank.  
  
Another reason for Harry to not not hold onto Sebastian for the night.


	7. Envy

"So how did you two meet?" Draco asked Sebastian moments after Hannah had introduced the two men.  
  
"We met at this party, actually. Two years ago. He'd walked into the room, and I just had trouble looking at anything else."  
  
Harry looked at Sebastian and smiled awkwardly. Sebastian had never said those words to him, so it was strange to hear them being said to someone else—to Draco.  
  
“Oh I didn't realise you two were—”  
  
“We’re not,” Sebastian offered. “We just have fun.” He turned to Harry and raised both of his eyebrows. “Hey, do you fancy a walk?”  
  
Harry nodded and smiled in return. He then turned to nod at the rest of the group and walked away.  
  
“I didn’t realise you felt that way—” Harry mumbled as he and Sebastian went outside to the courtyard. Harry sat by the fountain that was still gushing water. The hosts had charmed the grounds with very powerful Heating spells.  
  
Harry stared at the ginormous tree next to the fountain. He was afraid of looking at Sebastian. Afraid to find out if Sebastian felt more than he’d led on.  
  
“I have fun with you, Harry,” Sebastian answered. “We had a good time the first time we met. Then last year. If you were with someone tonight, I wouldn’t have minded. I just—”  
  
“You what?” Harry asked. Sebastian tone had changed completely. The way he was speaking in the Banquet Hall was playful, and now he was very stern.  
  
“I just didn’t like the way _he_ was looking at you. He’s a married man. With a wife!”  
  
“Draco?”  
  
“ _Yes, Draco,”_ Sebastian spat out.  
  
“How was he looking at me?”  
  
“Like you belonged to him.”


	8. Remembering To Have Fun

"I'm not sure if you're being protective, or possessive," Harry said to Sebastian who had just announced to Harry that he didn't like the way Draco was looking at him.  
  
"Protective in a friendly manner, to say the least," Sebastian answered. "I only noticed it after we'd kissed. If I had seen it before, I might have put on more of a show--"  
  
"Kind of like what happened last year when we went ice skating?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. "Don't think I haven't forgotten about that little stunt of yours." Harry smirked, standing up and tugging on Sebastian's scarves.  
  
"How many times are you going to make me _apologise_ for that?" Sebastian nearly roared and Harry couldn't help laughing.  
  
The year before, after the evening had ended, Sebastian asked Harry to accompany him to a Muggle ice skating rink. Only later, had Harry found out that Sebastian was using Harry to make some other bloke jealous.  
  
"Where is he anyway? What was his name...Mark?" Harry asked and noticed Sebastian's grim expression.  
  
"Dead in a ditch somewhere, I hope!" Sebastian answered and they both laughed again.  
  
Harry tugged on Sebastian's scarf again and tried to pull him in for another kiss. He'd forgotten how much fun it was to be with Sebastian. He never really cared about anything else, and there were always no strings attached.  
  
"Erm..." Sebastian hesitated and nodded his head towards the house. Harry turned to look. Draco was standing there, _watching_ them.


	9. Turning The Tables

"Draco!" Harry exclaimed letting go of Sebastian's scarf as he all but toppled over, losing his balance.  
  
"Smooth," Sebastian whispered in Harry's ear and Harry immediately jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow.  
  
"Er...sorry to interrupt..." Draco paused for a moment as though he was collecting his thoughts. "Hannah said that she needed your help with the lights..."  
  
"The lights?" Harry asked.  
  
"The Christmas lights. She said that you know how to work with the Muggle—battery powered Christmas lights."  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow. Draco sounded like he knew a thing or two about battery powered objects. Why didn't he just offer to help?  
  
"Oh, sure," Harry said; he turned to look at Sebastian. "Coming?"  
  
"I think I've lost my chances of that happening tonight." Harry glared at Sebastian who simply started to laugh. "Alright, alright. Let's go." He smacked Harry lightly on his arse as he walked behind him.  
  
Harry looked up at Draco who looked utterly uncomfortable. Harry reckoned Sebastian knew exactly what he was doing.


	10. The Saviour

Draco turned to walk back into the house and Harry and Sebastian followed him.  
  
When they arrived at the Banquet Hall, Harry saw Hannah panicking over the lights that had stopped working.  
  
"Harry, I don't know what to do!" she said. "I tried using my wand but it's just not working."  
  
"It's okay," Harry said calmly. He looked around the room and found Dean and gestured waived at him and Dean immediately ran towards him.  
  
Harry and Dean opened the battery box that the lights were connected to and Dean held one wire with his hand while Harry tested the connection. There was a small spark and a few guests gasped.  
  
"It's nothing to worry about," Harry assured them. He figured out that there was a connection loose and the wire simply needed to be tightened around him. A few more test sparks later, the lights were back on. He looked up at the decorations and saw that the "NOEL" spelling electric candles were lit again.  
  
Everyone in the room clapped and Harry and Dean simply shook their heads. Dean carefully closed the battery box and Harry advised everyone to stay away from the "power source."  
  
"That was brilliant," Sebastian teased Harry and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Get off," Harry retorted in return. "You would have known exactly what to do. It's too bad Hermione isn't here, or she would have fixed it—"  
  
"Yeah, but you're the Saviour!" Sebastian exclaimed overly dramatically.  
  
Harry laughed. "Aren't I, always?"


	11. Harry's Fanclub

Harry and Sebastian continued to laugh at the absurdity of Harry "coming to the rescue" as others around him thanked or congratulated him for figuring out _that sodding Muggle device_.  
  
Ten years after the war, and Harry couldn't believe that there were still wizards out there that were afraid of Muggle things. If Arthur Weasley could see them now.  
  
"Papa!" a tiny boy with the unmistakable Weasley red hair lunged himself towards Harry and started to pull on his robes.  
  
"Anything I should know, Harry?" Sebastian asked as he watched Harry pick up the tiny child and kiss him on the cheek.  
  
"There you are!" Ginny exclaimed taking the child from Harry's arms. "Sorry, Harry. You know how he gets--"  
  
"I don't understand," Sebastian said with an eyebrow raised. From the corner of his eye, Harry could also see Draco gaping towards him. The little boy had screamed "papa" quite loudly.  
  
"No need to worry, I'm not the father," Harry joked with Sebastian. "This is Trev, he belongs to Ginny and her husband Marco. Trev only knows one word so far, and whoever and whatever he _likes_ he shouts "papa." It's endearing really, except when people start to think I'm the father--"  
  
"You should have seen the articles that were published in the _Prophet_ about it," Ginny added. "I was quite the talk of town." She laughed as she kissed Harry on the cheek and walked away.  
  
Sebastian turned and stood next to Harry as they took in the room together.  
  
"Hanna really did a great job with the decorations this year," Harry said, trying to make small talk.  
  
"Harry, maybe you should go and try to stop your man over there," Sebastian said as though he hadn't heard a word Harry had uttered.  
  
"My man?" Harry asked bemused.  
  
"He's leaving with the woman--"  
  
"Oh," Harry said as he looked towards the door and Draco was in fact helping Astoria with her coat. "What would I say?"  
  
"You could ask him why he's leaving," Sebastian offered.  
  
"I don't know--it's probably better if he left anyway."


	12. Frame Of Mind

Harry turned his back towards Draco and Astoria; he didn't want to watch them leave.  Even if Astoria had told him that her and Draco's marriage was only for a "show," Harry didn't want any part of it.  
  
He was hurt as it was for so long for being resentful and feeling abandoned by someone he'd opened up to—he didn't want to do that again.  
  
"I'm not really sure why you're so cross with him," Sebastian said as he played with a dangling ornament on the Christmas tree in the Banquet Hall.  Harry watched Sebastian's fingers slide over the ornament that looked like a dagger with two dragons around it.  The crimson stone in the middle of it made the dagger look almost like The Sword Of Gryffindor.  
  
"Are you on his side now?" Harry asked, almost defensively.  
  
"No, just trying to understand—"  
  
Harry wasn't sure what to say, or rather, how much to say to Sebastian.  How was he supposed to explain the feeling of betrayal?  To an outsider, it would seem silly that Harry still kept up the feeling of rejection over someone he kissed when he was a teenager, but it was so much more than that.  
  
"Potter?"  
  
Harry heard his name whispered.  It was so low that he wasn't sure if he'd really heard someone's voice or imagined it.  
  
He turned to look and saw Draco standing right in front of him.  _Sans_ Astoria.


	13. Tradition

Harry had never been one to be called smooth. Most of the times, he'd fumbled his way in and out of situations. When Draco called his name and he turned to look, Harry tripped over a stock pile of big gift boxes that were right next to him.  
  
"Shite!" Harry cursed as he felt on a box and was sure he'd just broken whatever was inside it.  
  
"Are you okay?" Sebastian jumped forward to help Harry up. Draco had moved too but Sebastian was closer and faster.  
  
"Yeah, but I think I might have broken something," Harry said, pointing at the pile of mess.  
  
"I'm sure whatever it is, the gift giver can fix it," Sebastian assured Harry.  
  
"Sorry," Harry said as he was fully stood up. "I can't believe I'm such a klutz." He laughed and looked down and realised that he was still holding Sebastian's hand. "Thanks for rescuing me," Harry joked as he released his hold on Sebastian.  
  
Harry turned to look at Draco who still had an expressionless face on him. Ten years, and the git still managed to unnerve Harry.  
  
"Sorry, Draco... I—you caught me by surprise," Harry said.  
  
Draco nodded and bit his lower lip. Harry saw a _hint_ of confusion and hesitation in Draco's eyes before he was able to conceal that as well.  
  
"Do you mind if we talk...for a bit?" Draco asked.  
  
"Where's Astoria?"  
  
"She left. She had another engagement..."  
  
Harry looked at Sebastian who didn't respond, then he looked back at Draco.  
  
"Okay. Alright," he said and nodded at Sebastian.  
  
"See you lot later," Sebastian said. "Just avoid mistletoes; Harry's a beast about tradition."


	14. Friends

As Harry was about to leave the Banquet Hall with Draco to "talk," or whatever Draco wanted to do, he was interrupted by Ron and Hermione.  
  
"Where are you going?" Ron asked defensively. As much as Harry loved his best mate, he was not in the mood to defend himself at the moment.  
  
"We're just stepping outside to talk," Harry said calmly.  
  
"That's a good idea?" Ron asked.  
  
Harry sighed and glared at his friend.  
  
"I'll just step out then," Draco said and walked away without really waiting for a response.  
  
As Harry stood in the corner of the hall listening to Ron and Hermione lecture him about keeping his feelings in check, Harry could only wonder where Draco had went off to. He found himself wishing that he had something like a Marauder's Map so he could easily see where someone was when he wished to find out.  
  
"Harry, are you listening?" Hermione said, yanking Harry out of his thoughts.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't let him get to me. Keep my feelings in check. Don't fall for--"  
  
"And punch him--for me--if you have to," Ron added.  
  
Harry chuckled at Ron's statement. "Alright mate, if I really have to. I will."


	15. An Explanation

Harry rushed out the door after speaking with his friends in hopes to catch up with Draco.  
  
It was a chilly night, and he spotted Draco about a hundred feet away from the mansion.  
  
"Draco!" Harry called out and Draco stopped and turned. By the time Harry caught up with him he was standing by a shimmering giant tree surrounded by small embellishments of Christmas themed creatures.  
  
He turned to look at the mansion he'd just run out of and the light from the tree made the house shine beautifully.  
  
"That's a gorgeous sight, isn't it?" Harry asked, smiling. Hannah did always outdo herself in the Holiday Spirit.  
  
"It reminds of the Manor," Draco said. "You know, from when I was a child."  
  
"It must have been beautiful," Harry said.  
  
"It was..." Draco sighed. "For a short while it was."  
  
There was something about Draco's tone that made Harry want to reach out and touch him. He wanted to pull Draco into a hug but he refrained. He wasn't going to do this to himself again. He wasn't going to reach out and be kind to someone only to be scorned again. He was done with that.  
  
"Why did you want to talk to me?" Harry asked, distancing himself from Draco by a few steps as he stood by the giant tree and took in its warmth.  
  
"I'm not even sure where to start..." Draco said. "Astoria told me that she talked with you earlier this evening about something—something that I wasn't prepared for her to share with people. She left because we sort of had a quarrel."  
  
"So your marriage is not just a show?" Harry asked.  
  
"It is, but I didn't want _you_ to find out like that. I wanted to be the one to be able to tell you—to explain—"  
  
"Explain what exactly?"  
  
"Why I left all those years ago. Why I hid myself from the world...from you."  
  
Harry's heart was beating a thousand times per minute. He wasn't sure if he had the strength of standing there and listening to Draco. He wasn't even sure he wanted to.  
  
"It's been ten years, I'm sure I didn't even cross your mind—after you— _ran_."  
  
"You did...a lot."  
  
"Right, that's why you married someone else."  
  
Draco sighed and placed his hands in his pockets. "I married her because I had no other choice, because, she asked me to because she wanted to escape her family's grip on her—it was really a win-win situation. And now we're both in a place where we don't need that false validation from the society anymore so—"  
  
"If you needed someone to be by your side, you could have asked—you had—m—"  
  
"That's why I left," Draco said, interrupting Harry. "I _didn't_ want to ask you. I wanted to find my own way."  
  
"And of course, finding your own way means running away and marrying some woman."  
  
"I knew you wouldn't understand. That's why I didn't want you to find out—"  
  
"You're right. I don't understand. Sorry you felt the need to explain yourself to me. You should have just stayed hidden." Harry walked away from Draco and marched back towards the house. He had never been so discouraged in his life. He wasn't sure what Draco was trying to tell him and everything was just becoming more vexing.


	16. Defeated

Harry marched into the Banquet Hall and grabbed Sebastian. “Hey, do you want to get out of here?” he said.  
  
“What happened to--?”  
  
“Not now,” Harry snapped. “If you wish to stay then that’s fine.” He turned and walked away from Sebastian to grab his coat. He was going to Disapparate away from the party—where? He could decide that after he put on his coat.  
  
“Wait, I’ll come with you.” Sebastian ran after him and as they reached the door, Harry saw Draco entering the Hall.  
  
Harry turned to Sebastian. “Ready?” he said and Sebastian nodded. A moment later, they’d Disapparated to Diagon Alley, near the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
“Why are we here?” Sebastian asked.  
  
“I don’t know,” Harry answered. “It’s the only place I could think of that makes me feel better besides—”  
  
“Besides, what?”  
  
“Hogwarts,” Harry answered and they walked into the pub. Sebastian wrapped his arm around Harry trying to comfort him. “Thanks. I just want to forget tonight. I want to forget everything.”


	17. Sebastian

Harry managed to finish off four beers in a row before Sebastian found the courage to tell him to slow down.  
  
"What?" Harry snapped and glared at Sebastian.  
  
"I'm just telling you to slow down, not stop—" Sebastian said, calmly. He hadn't been drinking at all.  
  
"Let's go," Harry commanded and stood up from the chair, almost knocking one of the empty beer mugs on the table. "Sorry," he said to the patrons sitting on the next table.  
  
"Rough night," Sebastian added, placing his hand on Harry's lower back to guide him out of the pub.  
  
"You're always so nice to me," Harry whispered in Sebastian's ear, and Sebastian simply shook his head.  
  
They walked down Diagon Alley, and the air had definitely cooled down several degrees from the last time they had been out together by the water fountain in the garden of the Mansion.  
  
Snow covered most of the roads and the benches and the trees were lit up in beautiful colours, sparkling as though the sky above them was nothing but one giant rainbow.  
  
"It's a beautiful night," Sebastian said as Harry leaned into his embrace. "Why did you want to rush out of the party so fast?"  
  
Harry growled. "Draco, he—"  
  
"He what?"  
  
"He said he married Astoria to save his name—or something—I don't know exactly. Apparently she wanted to marry him to not marry someone else, and he married her because he wanted to make a name for himself. It was all—"  
  
"So you just _left_?" Sebastian asked and Harry glowered at him again. "I mean, you don't even know why you're so cross. Do you?"  
  
"He just _left_! He made me like him then he just _left_."  
  
Sebastian sighed. It was hard to believe that he was having a conversation with a twenty eight year old man. He sounded like he was still seventeen. "He _made_ you like him? Really? That's not what you've told me in the past. You told me someone from your past that you were _obsessed_ with, isn't that him—"  
  
"You remember everything, that's really annoying. You know that?" Harry said as he sneered at Sebastian.  
  
Sebastian shook his head again and laughed. "You do realise that he was a teenager then. _You_ were a teenager then. He panicked and he ran. How many times did _you_ think about abandoning the war—"  
  
"It's not that easy!" Harry argued.  
  
"No, it isn't. You know what's easy? Walking out on someone when they're trying to apologise—or explain their situation—"  
  
"I thought you wanted to shag tonight?" Harry retorted.  
  
"You know that I like you, and we have fun. But I can't shag you when you're still holding onto something— and then denying yourself a chance for—" Sebastian stopped talking for a moment. "I'm sorry. I don't want to lecture you, let's just go get pissed somewhere and you can figure out your life on your own terms."  
  
"Thank you," Harry said, and Sebastian nodded. "But, after we go somewhere and if I want to talk—"  
  
"I'll listen."


	18. The Holiday Dinners

Harry knew that being the only one without a "real" family during the holiday season meant that he would be invited to nearly everyone's Christmas family dinners. When he was younger, it was a thrill, but ten years later, it did start to becoming a bit tiring.  
  
He was thankful for being a part of so many families, and he loved and cherished all of them, yet, his stomach didn't think the same thing.  
  
He attended the Weasley traditional family dinner, then the night after was invited to the Lovegoods, then the Grangers, the night after that. Everyone tend to adjust their schedules around and held some sort of a mini holiday dinner, just so Harry could attend.  
  
This also meant, that he was busy nearly every night until the New Year's and that he would definitely need to put in extra effort at the Muggle gym that he was a member of.  
  
The owls came flying in day after day before the holidays had started for Harry to attend a "Holiday Dinner." However, this year, there was an additional invitation he'd never received, nor ever expected before. An invitation to a dinner at Malfoy Manor.  
  
Harry considered taking Sebastian.


	19. The Children's Party

Harry couldn't sleep since he'd received the dinner invitation to Malfoy Manor.  
  
He thought about asking Sebastian to accompany him to the feast, but decided to forgo it all together. Sending an owl last minute, Harry politely declined the invitation. He wasn't ready to face Malfoy, not even after talking about it with Sebastian for almost the entire night.  
  
The night of the dinner at the Manor, Harry headed to the Burrow and invited Sebastian along with him. They were going to set up all the presents for the Children's Holiday Party--it was a Weasley tradition since after the Second Wizarding War--to honour Fred and others who were lost.  
  
The Gryffindor colours had engulfed the entire house. Red and gold was everywhere and there were tiny presents hidden for the children in every part of the house. It was going to be an amazing event.  
  
When it was time for the children to arrive, Harry was distracted by a door knock. Usually everyone arrived either via the Floo Network, or they just barged into the house. No one actually knocked.  
  
Harry went to open the door, and his heart almost skipped a beat for Draco Malfoy was standing in front of him. Under the mistletoe.


	20. Only as a friend

Harry saw Draco standing at the door and couldn't think. His first instinct was to push Draco out of the doorway and so he did just that.  
  
Harry slammed the door behind him as he pushed Draco out of the house and followed him.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"Teddy invited me."  
  
" _Teddy_ invited you?" Harry nearly snarled his question at Draco. "Since when you do you—"  
  
"It's been a few years," Draco answered, calmly.  
  
"What happened to the dinner at the Manor?"  
  
Harry shivered as he waited for Draco to respond. He'd marched out of the house without his coat, and it was freezing outside. The trees surrounding the Burrow had branches covered with ice and if they accidentally fell on someone, Harry was sure, it would be dreadful.  
  
"Let's go inside," Harry said and turned towards the house.  
  
"Harry," Draco called out and Harry glared at him.  
  
"The dinner was for you, and since you didn't wish to attend—I told my mother, I didn't really have a reason to stay."  
  
"Where's Astoria? Why didn't she come with you—"  
  
"Astoria is with someone. I mean she's romantically involved with this man and things are getting serious between them. He was aware of our marriage but now he wants to be with her. She's _there_ tonight."  
  
"Oh," Harry said. "So you only came back because—"  
  
"No," Draco said interrupting Harry. "I had been wanting to come back for a while and I was too—too much of a coward—Astoria would say. This sort of just gave me the reason—"  
  
"I wasn't reason enough?" Harry asked. He immediately regretted saying that. Why did he care? He had to constantly remind himself that it had been ten years, Draco really didn't owe him anything.  
  
"There's nothing I can say to make up for my—the way I acted towards you. I'm really sorry about that and I—I don't even know how to begin apologising for it."  
  
Harry smiled at Draco and Draco looked a bit taken back by it. He patted on Draco's shoulder and tilted his heard towards the door.  
  
"Let's go inside, Teddy is waiting for us."  
  
"Does this mean you forgive me?"  
  
"There's nothing to forgive, Draco. Things happened between us a long time ago and there's no reason to hold onto anger—well that's what Sebastian says, anyway." Harry smiled at Draco again who looked like he was trying to hide a scowl.  
  
"Is he here?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Sebastian," Draco spat out.  
  
Harry laughed. "Yeah. But only as a friend. Maybe you and I could try to be, also."  
  
Harry didn't wait for Draco to respond and turned to open the door. As soon as Harry opened the door, Teddy jumped up and ran towards Draco, hugging him.  
  
Harry looked at Sebastian who simply smiled at Harry, and Harry smiled back.


	21. Behaving Nicely

As Draco and Teddy joined in on the festivities of the Children's Holiday Party, Harry sat on a kitchen stool next to Sebastian watching.  
  
"So, you're behaving rather nicely today," Sebastian whispered to Harry and Harry only shrugged back. "I'm glad you've taken my advice."  
  
"Maybe I should start paying you for all your therapeutic advices," Harry joked.  
  
Sebastian laughed, almost spilling his glass of wine. "All of your wealth in Gringotts couldn't afford me, Harry."  
  
"Hmm, that is true," Harry joked back.  
  
Harry's gaze turned to Draco and Teddy and saw that Draco was watching them. Draco quickly removed his gaze from Harry and Sebastian and concentrated on putting together the Muggle train set with Teddy.  
  
"I don't think he likes my being here," Sebastian said.  
  
"Yeah, I can tell that too," Harry answered. "But, you're my friend and you have every right of being here as he does."  
  
"Do I? I don't have any children," Sebastian said, chuckling. "It's sort of weird that I'm here."  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow and teasingly became defensive. "What do you want me to say? Oh Sebastian, please don't leave! I'd die without you. You're my only hope!" He laughed and placed his empty glass of wine on the table and Sebastian joined him. He punched Harry's shoulder as though he was offended and Harry caught his wrist to make him stop.  
  
A moment later, when Molly came into the room, Harry's eyes turned towards Draco again, who was definitely watching him. He didn't turn away embarrassed this time.  
  
"Go spend time with him before he gets the wrong idea," Sebastian said.  
  
Harry scowled at Sebastian as he stood up. "I don't like this whole...now you're going to tell me how to do everything."  
  
Harry walked over to Teddy and Draco and sat beside Teddy with Draco on the other side.  
  
"How is it going?" Harry asked.  
  
"Good, Draco knows all about Muggle trains," Teddy answered.  
  
"You didn't have to come and talk with us, Harry. We're fine here," Draco said as he picked up one of the train tracks and placed it in its spot.  
  
"I know, I wanted to," Harry said smiling and Draco smiled back.  
  
"Thanks, I'm glad you did."


	22. Uncertainty

"But I want Draco to take me!" Teddy argued with Harry and the Weasleys, when it was time for him to return to his grandmother's after the party.  
  
"Teddy..." Harry was exhausted arguing with his godson.  
  
"I don't mind," Draco said softly. "You can stay here and it'll give you more time to--do whatever you do with the Weasleys," he added.  
  
"Oh, I can come with you," Harry offered, immediately regretting it. He didn't want to seem desperate.  
  
"I think we'll be okay," Draco said smiling and he turned to look at Teddy and winked.  
  
"Okay," Harry said, it was all he could say.  
  
Five minutes later, Draco and Teddy left to go to Andromeda's via the Floo at the Weasleys. Harry had no idea if Draco was coming back or if he was going to go back to the Manor directly from Andromeda's.  
  
"What do you think?" Sebastian asked Harry after Draco was gone.  
  
"I don't know, I can't decide..."  
  
"Let's go outside and sit for a while," Sebastian said and Harry nodded.  
  
One by one the children were leaving the party and Harry and Sebastian left the house to go sit outside in the garden.  
  
"It's bloody freezing," Harry said, and he pulled out his wand to place a Warming Charm around a small bench that was covered with snow. The lamp outside had brightened the area, and it all looked ridiculously festive, he thought.  
  
"You're the one who wants to wait to see if he'd come back," Sebastian said.  
  
Harry couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, it wouldn't be the first time."


	23. Passing The Time

As Sebastian and Harry sat on the bench outside the Burrow, silently, yet not admitting, waiting for Draco, Sebastian conjured up a small box.  
  
"What's that?" Harry asked.  
  
Sebastian handed the box off to Harry. "Open it, it's a present for you." He laughed, and Harry squinted his eyes at him.  
  
"Is this one of your stupid presents?" Harry asked. Last few years that he and Sebastian had been 'getting together', Sebastian would always give him something quirky and embarrassing.  
  
"Open it."  
  
"No, I don't think I want to."  
  
"Oh, come on, Harry. You’re not fun!"  
  
Harry sighed heavily and unwrapped the box in his hands. Just like how he'd predicted, it was something stupid. Harry held a pair of red boxers that read "Don't Open 'Til Christmas." He took the boxers and thwarted Sebastian on the head with it.  
  
"You think you are so clever!"  
  
Sebastian laughed. "I am, however, I don't think I'll be the one opening the present this year."  
  
The two of them were suddenly eerily quiet.  
  
"Sorry, this is really weird," Harry said, nudging a bit into Sebastian. "It's been a good—"  
  
"A good few years, I know," Sebastian said. "But all chapters need to close before opening new ones. Or in your case, going back to read old ones."  
  
"Do you think I'm mental?" Harry asked, gulping, and anxious. Was he so stupid to wait there out in the cold for Draco. Again?  
  
"No, but if he hadn't shown up again, I would have thought he was." Sebastian was looking past Harry towards the Burrow and Harry immediately followed his gaze.  
  
Draco was standing outside the Burrow door, looking hesitant, and Harry immediately stood up. He waved at Draco, with the boxers still in his hand and then immediately tried to hide them behind him.  
  
Sebastian only continued to laugh. Not helping, at all.


	24. Dancing

"Hi," Draco said and Harry smiled back.  
  
"You came back," Harry answered.  
  
"Yeah, I thought I'd try my luck to see if you were still here," Draco replied. He was now in the circle of the Warming Charm Harry had conjured around him and Sebastian. "Oh, it's nice and warm here."  
  
"Yeah, we were just talking—"  
  
"And I was just leaving," Sebastian said.  
  
"Where are you going?" Harry immediately turned to Sebastian as he spat out his question.  
  
Sebastian shook his head and grinned. "Separation anxiety," he teased, and turned to Draco. "I'll blame that on you."  
  
Harry groaned. As much as he liked Sebastian, Harry was always reminded of why they hadn't worked out for more than a few quick shags. Sebastian could be quite the obnoxious prick.  
  
"I was invited to a party tonight. It's the Gay Wizarding Association's Holiday Gala."  
  
"Oh, that sounds like fun," Draco said before Harry had a chance to say anything.  
  
"Do you boys want to come?" Sebastian asked.  
  
"Oh, I don't know..." Harry hesitated.  
  
"I'd love to," Draco said at the same time. Harry turned to look at Draco, confused. "If you don't want to—"  
  
"No, you should go, it's fun. I've been before," Harry offered.  
  
"I'm not really interested if you won't be going, Harry," Draco replied.  
  
"Good answer," Sebastian said and Harry turned to glare at him again. Sebastian raised his hands as though he was surrendering. "Fine, I'll back off. Harry, you know the address. If you and Draco want to stop by, it's your decision." He nodded at Draco, "Have a good night." Sebastian Disapparated immediately after leaving Harry and Draco alone outside the Burrow.  
  
"Do you really want to go?" Harry asked.  
  
"What else do you have planned?" Draco questioned in return.  
  
"I don't know—it could be fun."  
  
"And we could use a bit of fun."  
  
Harry shrugged and Draco stepped closer gently taking Harry's hand in his. "Sorry, if I'm being too forthcoming." Harry didn't stop him. He wanted this, no matter how much he'd told himself that he was going to resist.  
  
Draco leaned in and his face was edging closer to Harry's. "You're married," Harry said, finally waking up into reality.  
  
"We've already filed for a divorce," Draco answered. "We went to see a solicitor today. By this time next month, the paperwork will be in, and three months from now, we will no longer be legally married, or bound to each other."  
  
"It still doesn't mean I can trust you."  
  
Draco nodded. "Of course. I don't blame you. That's why I also think it's a good idea to maybe go to this gala." He shrugged. "Maybe it can be like a first date. First night of me building my trust—"  
  
"Sure," Harry said. He squeezed Draco's hand back and then let go. "Doesn't mean I'm going to kiss you tonight. Even if you manage to get me under mistletoe."  
  


  
*-*-*

  
  
Harry said his goodbyes to the Weasleys and headed to his flat to change for the gala. He'd given Draco the address for the party and agreed to meet him there. He had no intention of showing up at the event as Draco as his date. No matter his desire to be with Draco, to kiss him, he wasn't going to submit into it, not right away anyway.  
  
Harry arrived at the gala at half past nine, and spotted Sebastian immediately. He was standing next to a rainbow coloured Christmas tree. Harry couldn't help but laugh at the gaudiness of it all.  
  
"Where's Draco?" Sebastian asked.  
  
Harry shrugged. "I gave him the address—"  
  
"Hi." Harry and Sebastian turned to the voice that came from behind them and found Draco standing there. "Am I late?"  
  
"No, Harry just got here," Sebastian said as he patted Harry on the shoulder and walked away.  
  
Draco smiled at Harry after he watched Sebastian walk away. "Glad you're here, I would have felt like a fool if you hadn't shown—"  
  
"Yeah, I know how that feels." Draco slightly frowned at Harry's statement and Harry added, "I'm glad you're here too. Sorry if I’m being an arse."  
  
"You're not. You're just good at reminding me at how much I have to work to get your friendship, to get your trust back."  
  
Harry smiled and allowed Draco to take him towards the bar as Draco offered to buy them drinks.  
  
The place was set up like a Muggle club with a huge dance floor and most of the wizards were dressed in Muggle attire. Harry had forgotten to tell Draco that but Draco was evidently smart enough to wear a button-down shirt and trousers rather than Dress Robes.  
  
"You look good," Draco whispered in Harry's ear as they waited for their drinks.  
  
"Erm...thanks," Harry answered, surprised by the compliment, even though he was wearing his favourite pair of Muggle jeans that he knew made his arse look good. Or that's what his last boyfriend had told him, anyway.  
  
"Do you want to dance?" Draco asked as he drank his Firewhisky in one swig and dragged Harry to the dance floor.  
  
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and they moved slowly with the music. Draco's skin felt warm around Harry's and he had to control every muscle in his body to not move his hand up and run his hand through Draco's hair.  
  
Draco only drew him in closer and it wasn't long until Harry realised that his erection was slightly pressing against Draco's leg. The music changed and the room darkened, the only light coming from the illuminating rainbow tree in the corner of the room. Draco took the liberty to turn Harry around and held him from behind. The rhythm of the music had become more upbeat and they were no longer dancing as innocently as before.  
  
Draco let out a hot breath in Harry's ear, causing shivers down Harry's spine.  
  
"You feel amazing," Draco whispered and Harry involuntarily pushed back into Draco's cock. It _felt_ amazing.  
  
Draco's hands slowly travelled up Harry's shirt as he tried to pull him in even closer. His hand gently brushed against Harry's groin and Harry moaned.  
  
Harry immediately turned and _kissed_ Draco, his body no longer able to resist Draco's touch; it was aching with desire. Draco kissed him back, hungrily, just as desperately as Harry wanted to kiss him.  
  
He pulled away a moment later, when the song ended, and stared into Draco's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not ready for this. I shouldn't have—" He pushed away from Draco's hold, walking away.  
  
"Harry," Draco said, keeping his grip tight on Harry's arm. "Just one more song. Please."  
  
Harry nodded and Draco drew him in again. They danced for five more.


	25. A long road ahead

The party was winding down and Harry knew it was time to say goodbye. He'd had an unexpected night of dancing and kissing with Draco and part of him didn't want it to end. It felt like a dream. What would happen if he woke up the next day and it would have been a dream?  
  
"I wish we didn't have to say goodnight," Draco whispered in his ear and Harry felt it was as though Draco had read Harry's mind.  
  
"But I think it's time though," Harry answered.  
  
"Really? I was hoping you'd tell me that you wanted to continue—"  
  
"Where could we go? It's nearing midnight. It's Christmas..." Harry regretted speaking immediately. Had he opened too much? He'd showed Draco that he wanted this. He was always awful at playing games anyway.  
  
"I know a place," Draco whispered, and leaned in to kiss Harry's cheek. "If you want trust me."  
  
Against his better judgement, Harry nodded. He was willing to let Draco take him anywhere.  
  
They grabbed their coats, and Harry said goodbye to Sebastian who only told him to not control everything and see where the night would take him.  
  
Outside the venue, Draco took Harry to an Apparition point and Side-Along Apparated him.  
  
Moments later, they were outside what looked like an abandoned building. Harry didn't understand.  
  
Draco waved his wand at the door of the building and it swung open.  
  
"What is this place?" Harry asked. "Where are we?"  
  
"We're in the Muggle part of Bristol, but this is a wizarding restaurant. They're one of the few places open on Christmas Eve." He held Harry's hand as they walked in and the door shut behind them.  
  
Slowly but surely, the light in the room brightened and Harry was finally able to take the room in. The room was huge, almost the size of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. There were tables everywhere and only a handful of them had patrons.  
  
"Mr Malfoy, lovely to see you. Your table is ready," the host said, bowing to both Draco and Harry as he led them to a far corner table next to a Christmas tree, candles already lit and two glasses of wine set.  
  
"You had a reservation?" Harry asked.  
  
"I always have a reservation. I own the place," Draco answered. Harry was shocked. "Well co-own it with Astoria, but we've already established that I'm getting this place in the divorce."  
  
"Why don't I know about this place?" Harry asked as he took a seat across from Malfoy looking around the room.  
  
"Do you ever dine in places like these?" Draco asked and Harry shook his head. "That's why you don't know about it." He smiled softly at Harry and offered him a glass of wine.  
  
"There's just so much I don't know—"  
  
"I know," Draco said looking up from the menu. His expression had changed to something that indicating disappointment or regret. "But, I'd like to tell you. If you'll allow me. There's so much I want to tell you."  
  
Harry took a sip of the wine and looked out the foggy window onto the dark street. "It's not that I don't want to," he said. "But, I just don't want to take the chance of trusting you, befriending you, and you leaving abruptly all over again." Harry wished that he weren't so sensitive, or non-trusting of Draco, but he couldn't help himself. He simply didn't want to waste his time investing in feelings towards someone that could easily discard them again.  
  
Draco nodded but didn't say anything. The table was eerily quiet for several minutes.  
  
"But..." Harry said eventually. "I don't want to say that I don't want to try."  
  
Draco smiled at Harry.  
  
"Just don't think that a few hot moments on the dance floor and an impromptu romantic-type date is going to make me forgive you—accept you."  
  
"What will it take?" Draco asked in a hurry.  
  
"I don't know," Harry answered, honestly.  
  
Draco nodded. "Whatever it is, I'm willing to find out. As long as it'll take me."

* * *

Thank you for reading


End file.
